The fear of commitment, or getting cold feet, scientifically, is actually a type of phobia. It is commonly known as the ‘commitment phobia’, which refers to someone who is afraid of being committed into any significant, deep ‘one on one’ relationships. This may also relate to tasks, long-term projects and responsibilities.

Have you ever known anyone, or thought of a person you know who had a fear of commitment? Maybe you currently have a few friends who you suspect have symptoms of this type of phobia. Most, which is probably to no ones surprise, who exhibit deep fears of commitment are actually men. Those with commitment issues have difficulty in deciding on simple things, such as making easy decisions when given a choice. For instance, they may find it hard to choose what to eat off a menu when they are dining out in a restaurant, or have a hard time choosing between say, two good movies, or even on what they should wear on certain days. And not surprisingly, most who show these symptoms have never been in a serious relationship, most are or are nearing their 30’s, which is an ideal perfect marrying age for most men.

Let me tell you about someone we used to know, his name was Patrick. Patrick was a close friend growing up and he is presently still a bachelor, who has a great job and career and makes good money. Women go in and out of his life on a regular basis, as some may consider him handsome. But none of these acquaintances seems to really stick around, even the ones who you would think has good potential. He is a perfect profile for someone who displays a fear of commitment. But he will not admit or accept it, which is in fact another ‘tell-tale’, characteristic of someone who has a fear of commitment. Here is a conversation we once had about this issue. So here it is:

Me: “Have you ever had or been in a serious relationship before?
Patrick: “No”
Me: “So why not?”
Patrick: “It’s because I don’t think I’m ready yet.”
Me: “What are some of the things that makes you think you’re not ready?
He shrugged his shoulders and paused for a few minutes.
Patrick: “It’s probably because I’m afraid to commit to one woman, and I don’t really want to get married at this time. I’m afraid I may not handle the responsibilities associated with being a good father and a good husband at the same time.”
Me: “Then you’re someone who is afraid or has a fear of commitment.”
Patrick: “Who me? No, I don’t really think so…”

Having the fear of commitment makes it difficult for you to decide on what you need or is good for you, especially if your future is at stake. So when having a fear of commitment, it’s not healthy at all. Fear of commitment can hold you back since it’s entrusting itself to a procedure on what life has to offer, and we should be able to make the most of the opportunities that come our way.

The actual fear of commitment can be triggered by various causes. Fear of commitment most likely starts from childhood, where the person suffered from some type of traumatic experience, such as the separation of parents, divorce or even death. Fear of commitment can also be from poor role models in which the person may have witnessed dysfunctional or offensive relationships. The worst is when the person may have also been a victim of it. These experiences later in life, may have a great impact on the person’s future decision making abilities and therefore the cause of their development, contributing to their fear of commitment.

The Fear of Commitment can be overcome by several different methods. The most common method is by the use of hypnosis or hypnotherapy. So if you know someone, or have friends, or think you may have the fear of commitment yourself, there is help out there.